facebook is NEVER that serious .

CUNT ASS MUTHAFUCKA . this shit set me off . ppl take social networking sites like facebook . twitter . myspace TOO FUCKN' SERIOUSLY . this is why iCan't fuck with too many ppl . this kind of shit makes me keep my circle of ppl iDeal with small .

ventin' . just a lil' .

finally got drake's album yesterdayyy . iFeel like a bad fan cuz iBought the shit 2 days lateee. *sighh* it's 2:00 A.M. & im hurting . iFeel empty . shit hasn't even been the same . im tired and irritable all the time . iCry myself to sleep every night . iWorry extra . iPretend im ok just so iWon't have to explain to anyone what's wronggg. and things with __________ ? ughh . iFeel distant frm him more than ever . "ill call yuu back " that's what he tells me and im actually dumb enuff to believe it so iWait up for him, hoping he'd call . this is like A.B. all over again . my hearts breaking . yesterday wuz an excellent day today too iDon't know how today got so shitty . seems like ive been having a lotta shitty days lately . SMH .

Thank Me Later .

[Above: baby drake chillen by the pool =]
"But iWas curious, & i'll never forget it baby..what an experience . Yuu coulda been the one but it wasn't that serious. There was smoke in the air before now it's me clearing it . that felt good, all and all iLearned a lesson frm it tho, yuu never see it coming yuu just get to see it go." FUCKN' GENIUS . thank me later officially drops today.. boy, iBeen waitin' for this day for a hot minuteee .

today kinda suckssss. this week has actually. me and my mom got into an altercation sunday and this week has gone downhill from there. it makes me realize more and more that iNeed to grow up and stop bullshittin' . my GPA score sucks. it Still got me heartbroken. it went from a 3.2 to a 2.8 reallll fast just from that "D" in english . FMLLLLLLL. iTalked to shamel last night . *sighhh* things are not the way they use to be . how come when everyone needs me, im there and iKnow what to say to make them feel better but when im goin thru some shit, ppl just be like "wtfff. why are yu not yur happy usual self?"....that goes to show yuu, yu didn't know me well to began with . yuu didn't even remember my fuckn' birthday when iAsked Yuu . iDon't feel like im worth shit to anyone anymore . everyone just walks all over me and use me to talk about THIER problems but when it comes to helpin' me out...pshhh the only friend iCan depend on is nadiyaaaa iSwearrr. everybody else, fuck em' .

missed me? =]

(above) baby drake ! =]
"niggas and bitches come and go. that's life. quit bitchin' & get the fuck over it." -Chelsea, yurs truly .

me & shamel split on april 14, 2010 iBelieveee *tries hard to recall the date*...iThink it wuz a Wednesday. he hit me up on myspace a week later and we started talkn' again n' shit . he had the nerve to break up with me over text . still makes me angry to this very day...SMH.
guess im back to hoein' it up on twitter/facebook/myspace LMAOOOOOOO. didn't call him tonite either. fuckk it. iFeel like im just another bitch on his list . but fuck that shittt .

iWuz on twitter and @MulahTruth said this shit bestttt..."Don't let "LOVE" be the excuse for yuu staying with some one who mistreats Yuu. let love for self be the reason yuu move on . <-------------preachh! iDefinitely needed to read that tweet .

summer to do list:
1. get a fukkin' job .
2. Get over Yuu. Yess YUU nigga .
3. Drive .
4. Get my cell back .
5. Grow the fukkk uppp .

Im Too Loyal && Too Focused ♥

To be losin' and Be Hopeless.
8:50 P.M. today wuz a good day over all. been tryna get it together mentally to work on this research paper. iHave that feeling in the bottom of my stomach that april is gonna be crazy. iHad my art class today and it wuz ahgoahgoa; iBarely did shit in thereee. my mind wuz on this research paper iSwearrrr. that's the primary thing im focusin' on right now. my relationship has been going good it's juss lack of trust and jealousy that seem to be fuckn' up any type of relationship iStart lately =/. but other than this lame ass research paper, everything is going pretty aiiteee. Drake's new video came out today and it wuz ehhh ehh ehh...aiitee. his music is fuckn' amazing but he needs to come harder as far as the music videos. && iNeed to get more rest at night. im seriously losing brain cells over lack of sleep...*sighhh* but lemme get back to this englishh =) love Yuu guyzzz =)

iGot a Certain Lust For Life ♥

7:05 P.M. iCan feel the tears coming but iAin't dare lettin' em gooo. im too strong for this shitttt. yur guessin' today sucked..well yuu guessed right. a 64 on my math test was not exactly a good way to start the day off. aogaohga; iNeed to pull it together. where is my nadiya boo when iNeed her? =/ me & ________. let's jusss say iFeel like ima end up alone. nothing new right? she's so pretty and in closer distanceeee. she probably hasn't done anything to piss him off like iHave. she's skinner than iAm. doesn't have an overbite when she smiles =/ longgg pretty hair. shittt she's not even frm the united states. how can iCompete with something like that =/ ? yeahhhh ppl tell me im pretty and beautiful and all that but only _________'s opinion matters to me. iFeel so empty, worthless, and worst of all, that iNever measure up =/ im like a pair of louboutin heels with scuff marks on them. im worth a lot yettt iStill have flaws. sasha has been my emotional support these past 2 days iSwearrr. ahahoeidhgoahg; iJuss need to hear his voice. iNeed him to make me laugh. say something stupid so iCan forget about my insecurities and be able to smile again. most of all iNeed someone to tell me im beautiful, not cute...sexy...hot..fine...but beautiful =/

PassPort To Fly, Sittin' At The Gate...

"i know that we just met, iDon't wanna leave yuu yet.
Promise that iWon't forget. Im comin back, Im Comin Back" =/
PassPort To Fly, Sittin' at the gate iJuss wanna touch Yuu
but im so far away.

feelin' undescribableee right now.
Thinkin'.
Too Much.
is that a bad thinggg?.

"the girl or the world, Yuu see someone gotta lose, iThought iCould have it all. Do iReally gotta choose? what good is all the cash if it doesn't buy time? and what good is being famous--if im never on yur mind. Nights Fallen, Lights Glowin and im juss tryna pay the price owing &&& iDon't wanna feel the comfort from my ice showing and iAin't tryna be without yuu at the right moments. Nigga nice Goin...is it worth it? that decision cuz hearts breakin'..iAin't tryna be in that collison."--Drake, Sooner Than Later, So Far Gone.

11:37 monday. it wuz jusss as shitty as iExpected it to be. my self-esteem is officially low right now. im juss not feelin' it todayyyyyy iSwearrrrrrrrr. im so stressed. =/ im so sensitive todayyy too. the littlest shittt got to me. oagoarogredoirhgioehdogh; and the teacher gave me a new project in art. my mind wuz on blank so iCame up with some bullshit idea that she liked but iDidn't. the theme is fire. but don't take it literally chelsea. THE FUCK YUU MEAN ?! and iStilll haven't done shit towards my research paper and that shittt is due april 13. iNeed to pull it togetherrrr. at least im on the right track in my other classes. im a little worried about that 73 iHave in public speaking tho. why do iWorryso much and expect the worseeeee??!grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. iNeed a cocktail, && some of my dad's kushhhhhh lol jk. say a prayer for me babes, S.T.R.E.S.S. be takin' a toll on me.

iWud rock this in a heartbeat No doubt.

Bumpin' Down The Block ♥ by I T C H I C K featuring Alexandra Neel shoes

hearts breakin' && iAint Tryna Be in that Collision ♥

"What girl you know can keep a long distance relationship up and have it stay strong for more than a month? you're amazing, you really are. You gotta give credit to yourself and realize that girl in the mirror is the most amazing girl i've met. and i know shamel thinks it too. i love you so much. april will be the best month, my love. keep your head up and smile." ---Nadiya

this gurl iSwearrrr. she keeps me going. Me&& _________talked on the phone bright and early this morning. it's crazy. iDon't even know if he's gonna take me back but iKnow this much. iKnow what iFeel for him is real. iCan't deny that. iPut my pride asideee, now the ball is in his court. ttyl. im going out for lunch with mother. Later, im finishin' that public speaking outline iSwearrrr. juss because life is fucked up right now doesn't mean im gonna sit around && feel sorry for myself all day. thankkk yuu nadiya boo ♥ we gone make it thru this together, loveeee.

on A Mission To Be, What im destined To Be ♥

5:58 im trying to get shit accomplished this weekend.
goals
1. Take notes for public speaking exams 13 & 14
2. find research paper, sources, and start writing it.
3. speech six outline
4. Fuck everything else.
5. Get it togetherrrrrr emotionally.

sometimes iFeel like.....

1:27 P.M. ending it.

& The Most Annoyin' Muthafucka Award Goes To...

@2Gz_chinamaN....this is the most annoying bitchhh yuu will ever having a texting convo withhhh. smhhhh. within 10 minutes, he wuz tryna see some of the goods. smfhhhh. iTold his ass iGot a boyfriend and STILL the mutherfucker persisteddd. k' im done rantin' and ravin' for now. but cheaa' iTexted my boo, and he ain't hit me back ;( im lonely and frustrated and iMiss him soooo muchhhh. this spring break has not been my cup of tea, iSwearrrr. =/ but ima try to keeepp my head up and make the best of it....nite Yall.
Soundtrack:
Drake-Shut it down
Drake-Over
Kanye West-Love Lockdown
Cassie-Sumtimes

Shut it Down.

9:24 P.M. ehhh today wuzn't all that badddd. A New Drake Song "shut it down" leaked so Yuu kno im happy. the songggg is UGH-MAZING ! ive had it on repeat all dayyyy forreallll! iTexted _________ & __________todayy. it's been a while since iHeard frm _______. ahhhhh he really forgot about a nigga =/ but it's koo. and me & __________are good iGuess. i'm juss letting my insecurity getting the best of me tho. ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. has there ever been a person Yuu wished Yuu kept all to yurself? that's how iFeel but watever. iWent to bed a little hurt lass niteee, but imma be aiitee. my grandfather still in the hospital and that shitttt is kinda messin' with me =/ but ima try to be happy and positive this springggg breakkk. iNeed to get down and crackin on that research paper so iCan actually have a hope of making an A on ittttt. iCan't wait til TML comes out. seriously, iHaven't been this hyped about something in a whileee! 'shut it down" will proally be my favorite song on the album =) ahhhhh. Drizzy never lets me down =D Nite Yall. Drake's music really keeps me up when im feelin' down =D

Empty.

"Another 20 Missed calls...iLove her and iHate her..it's a funny
twist yall. Can't stand her when she in town, but Miss her when
she gone, truth be told, iRather be with her than alone."

6:24 P.M. im not feelin' it todayyy. what the fuck is wronggg with me?--. This feeling that something is wronggggg keeps eatin' away at me. iWishh it wud go awayy. this is the second day of my spring break vacation, and it's not going well. iFeel distant. iWishhh iCud pack all my clothes and go see _____________ & ____________.

Sometimes.

12:30 PM. wednesday wuz not all that bad. iFinished my second art project && the teacher LOVED it. iDon't. iWuz at my dad's house and iSaw all my old drawings and designs and iWish iHad the balls to actually major in __________. iShudn't have given up on that shittt. iDon't know what the hell ima do after collegeeee. Art can only get Yuu so far =/. iAlso noticed that im hella insecure todayyy. iAdded some chick on facebook juss to see if she wuz pretty. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. dudeeee. iJuss don't want someone to take what is mine away. ehhh. territorial muchhh? ehhh. idk how ima make it thru this semester. with my nadiya boo, my honey dippp, my visa, alluna, and my starbucks..imma surviveeee. may i have a large blended frappe' in caramel...yess..with whip cream please =/dude. iThought about praying today but ehhhhh God is proally shakin' his head at me for waitin' so longggg =/.
Nite Yall.
Soundtrack
Omarion-Speedin'

FuckMyLife.

8:19 P.M. today feels like mondayyyyy. ughhhhhh. today wuz so frustrating. im boiling right now. first off, iGot a 64/D in my english class ;( <-WTF. that's sum bullshittt iSwearrrrr. A Tad bit of Good news, iGot A's in my CCDM 114 and art II class. iJuss talked with my mom and sounds like she won't let me get my phone anytime soon. FMLLLLLLL. she acts like im laid up pregnant somewhere. this is a bunchhhhh of fuckery. my phone situation is sooo ghetto right now.it's not the moneyyy but it's the time i'll spend on the phone that's buggin' her. ahhhhhhhhhhh =/ it's so frustrating that all that $$ iHave in the bank account, yeettt iCan't spend it on my cell. wtf. Does she have to be a _________? me &________are greatttt. iMiss him right now ;( this long distance shit really gets to me sometimes ;(

_____________missen in my life is kinda messin' with me =/

Try Harder.

If Yuu hold back yur feelings because Yuu are afraid of getting hurt, Yuu end up hurting anyway =/ [♥]

10:23 P.M. ahhhh dude. today wuz pretty chill. iCruised crusti alamo with my homegurls imani and tatiana and iAte more mozarella sticks than iCan handle. me & __________ are great. This is the first time im actually committed to one person. iUsed to have mad sideee bitchessss but since 2010 ive cut em' all backkk. ahhhh. skool. shitttt. it's kinda gettin' me down. =/ my grades ain't up to the standards that iWant em' to be. it juss kills me that iCan't be perfecttttt. shittttttttt. =/ima try harder tho. iKno iCan pull that english and public speaking up. time to give it my all: balls to the wall... Nite Yall.
Soundtrack:
Alicia Keys-Unthinkable.
Drake-Sooner Than Later.
Yo Melly Mel-Take A Chance.

[♥]

"Take The Time to do it right because you may not get the time to do it over."
8:04 P.M. my dad juss pissed me off once again. he don't like the title of my blog nor my twitter name. but fuck it. im tired of being controlled my everybody. like wtf.iGot one message for anybody that got shit to say about me: FUCK YOUR FEELINGS. my speech went well and iGot my work accomplished today. but my hitler-like father alwayz manages to get me mad. he's too over-protective #NShit. smhhhh. waitin' for ________ to call. lass nite wuz crazy. we kinda sorta cool again but not the same as we were =/. iFinally swallowed my pride and texted him lass nite. iReally Hope that got me somewhere. iAin't tryna be without him =/
Soundtrack
Drake---Over.

Just Breathe.

2:32 A.M. ahhhhh dude. today wuz not that bad. got sum shit accomplished. talked to my gurl nadiyaaa and my bestie Cam. shittt might not be so bad. gotta get on top of this speech for my public speaking class =] fuck the stressin' =] ttyl.
Soundtrack--
Sade-Soldier Of Love
Drake-Thrill is gone
Drake-Over.