Im Too Loyal && Too Focused ♥

To be losin' and Be Hopeless.
8:50 P.M. today wuz a good day over all. been tryna get it together mentally to work on this research paper. iHave that feeling in the bottom of my stomach that april is gonna be crazy. iHad my art class today and it wuz ahgoahgoa; iBarely did shit in thereee. my mind wuz on this research paper iSwearrrr. that's the primary thing im focusin' on right now. my relationship has been going good it's juss lack of trust and jealousy that seem to be fuckn' up any type of relationship iStart lately =/. but other than this lame ass research paper, everything is going pretty aiiteee. Drake's new video came out today and it wuz ehhh ehh ehh...aiitee. his music is fuckn' amazing but he needs to come harder as far as the music videos. && iNeed to get more rest at night. im seriously losing brain cells over lack of sleep...*sighhh* but lemme get back to this englishh =) love Yuu guyzzz =)

iGot a Certain Lust For Life ♥

7:05 P.M. iCan feel the tears coming but iAin't dare lettin' em gooo. im too strong for this shitttt. yur guessin' today sucked..well yuu guessed right. a 64 on my math test was not exactly a good way to start the day off. aogaohga; iNeed to pull it together. where is my nadiya boo when iNeed her? =/ me & ________. let's jusss say iFeel like ima end up alone. nothing new right? she's so pretty and in closer distanceeee. she probably hasn't done anything to piss him off like iHave. she's skinner than iAm. doesn't have an overbite when she smiles =/ longgg pretty hair. shittt she's not even frm the united states. how can iCompete with something like that =/ ? yeahhhh ppl tell me im pretty and beautiful and all that but only _________'s opinion matters to me. iFeel so empty, worthless, and worst of all, that iNever measure up =/ im like a pair of louboutin heels with scuff marks on them. im worth a lot yettt iStill have flaws. sasha has been my emotional support these past 2 days iSwearrr. ahahoeidhgoahg; iJuss need to hear his voice. iNeed him to make me laugh. say something stupid so iCan forget about my insecurities and be able to smile again. most of all iNeed someone to tell me im beautiful, not cute...sexy...hot..fine...but beautiful =/

PassPort To Fly, Sittin' At The Gate...

"i know that we just met, iDon't wanna leave yuu yet.
Promise that iWon't forget. Im comin back, Im Comin Back" =/
PassPort To Fly, Sittin' at the gate iJuss wanna touch Yuu
but im so far away.

feelin' undescribableee right now.
Thinkin'.
Too Much.
is that a bad thinggg?.

"the girl or the world, Yuu see someone gotta lose, iThought iCould have it all. Do iReally gotta choose? what good is all the cash if it doesn't buy time? and what good is being famous--if im never on yur mind. Nights Fallen, Lights Glowin and im juss tryna pay the price owing &&& iDon't wanna feel the comfort from my ice showing and iAin't tryna be without yuu at the right moments. Nigga nice Goin...is it worth it? that decision cuz hearts breakin'..iAin't tryna be in that collison."--Drake, Sooner Than Later, So Far Gone.

11:37 monday. it wuz jusss as shitty as iExpected it to be. my self-esteem is officially low right now. im juss not feelin' it todayyyyyy iSwearrrrrrrrr. im so stressed. =/ im so sensitive todayyy too. the littlest shittt got to me. oagoarogredoirhgioehdogh; and the teacher gave me a new project in art. my mind wuz on blank so iCame up with some bullshit idea that she liked but iDidn't. the theme is fire. but don't take it literally chelsea. THE FUCK YUU MEAN ?! and iStilll haven't done shit towards my research paper and that shittt is due april 13. iNeed to pull it togetherrrr. at least im on the right track in my other classes. im a little worried about that 73 iHave in public speaking tho. why do iWorryso much and expect the worseeeee??!grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. iNeed a cocktail, && some of my dad's kushhhhhh lol jk. say a prayer for me babes, S.T.R.E.S.S. be takin' a toll on me.

iWud rock this in a heartbeat No doubt.

Bumpin' Down The Block ♥ by I T C H I C K featuring Alexandra Neel shoes

hearts breakin' && iAint Tryna Be in that Collision ♥

"What girl you know can keep a long distance relationship up and have it stay strong for more than a month? you're amazing, you really are. You gotta give credit to yourself and realize that girl in the mirror is the most amazing girl i've met. and i know shamel thinks it too. i love you so much. april will be the best month, my love. keep your head up and smile." ---Nadiya

this gurl iSwearrrr. she keeps me going. Me&& _________talked on the phone bright and early this morning. it's crazy. iDon't even know if he's gonna take me back but iKnow this much. iKnow what iFeel for him is real. iCan't deny that. iPut my pride asideee, now the ball is in his court. ttyl. im going out for lunch with mother. Later, im finishin' that public speaking outline iSwearrrr. juss because life is fucked up right now doesn't mean im gonna sit around && feel sorry for myself all day. thankkk yuu nadiya boo ♥ we gone make it thru this together, loveeee.

on A Mission To Be, What im destined To Be ♥

5:58 im trying to get shit accomplished this weekend.
goals
1. Take notes for public speaking exams 13 & 14
2. find research paper, sources, and start writing it.
3. speech six outline
4. Fuck everything else.
5. Get it togetherrrrrr emotionally.